(If you don't want to read the intro, just skip to the underlined text which is my professor's comment about my skit)
I had to write a skit set for the stage for my online Creative Writing class...I was terrified. I have always loved writing, but I have never experimented with drama, other than dramatic poetry. Convinced I would fail the assignment, I started it about two weeks early. I probably wrote twenty different skits during this time, and I decided that none of them were good enough to turn in. My frustration had me to the point of considering changing my major. I was convinced I was not meant to be a writer, and that I would fail at everything that involved writing. Finally, I decided to sit down and figure out what I would like to read in a dramatic skit.
This process took about two hours, and by the end I was pretty motivated. I began writing and after another few hours I was satisfied with my final product. I realized after I had finished that there was a 1000 word limit, which meant that I had to cut about 2/3 of the skit. Lame. After making a few people read it and give me their honest opinions, I turned in my work. During the waiting period between turning in and receiving a grade, my confidence wore thin. I reread my skit too many times to count and began picking at it and finding flaws in my work, and I was sure that I would fail.
The next day, I checked to see if it had been graded as soon as I woke up. I was surprised to see that I had received a perfect grade. One-hundred percent on my first skit? Not too bad. I then noticed that my professor had sent a copy back to me with comments.
Here is my final copy, graded, comments included, for you to read and share your thoughts on. Let me know what you think, and if there is anything you would have added, left out, or changed please share! Also, if you have any advice or tips for writing dramas, definitely share. (The underlined text at the top is from my professor)
______________________________________
This is FANTASTIC! I love what you did with it – the format,
the very real sounding dialogue, the twist in the plot and characters. This is
one of the best dramas that a student has turned in for this class, and I’ve
been teaching this class for seven or eight years. I loved the haiku as well. I
actually read that first and thought it was a little weird, but then I went
back and read the drama first and it made a whole lot more senseJ Great work.
Thievery VS. Trickery
Setting-
The stage is dark, other than the lights coming from a large, Victorian style
home. The area surrounding the house is
heavily wooded, which shows how the house is secluded.
Out of the darkness comes a man
dressed in dark clothing. He is crouched and slowly sneaking closer to the
home. As he approaches the front door,
he reaches into his jacket and pulls out a crowbar. As he lifts the crowbar to the door, the door
flies open revealing a small, elderly woman.
The man hesitates for a moment, shocked, as the woman grabs his arm and
pulls him inside, shutting the door behind him.
The man drops his crowbar, and puts his hands up to show he does not
have a weapon.
The man: I’m
so sorry, Ma’am. If you just let me
leave, I swear I will never come back.
Please, Ma’am.
*The woman grabs the man’s hands
tightly as a look of pure joy spreads across her face*
The woman: Oh, Francis!
I knew you would come back as soon as this idiotic war ended! Everybody told me that you were dead. Oh, the nerve of them. Even Carolyn from church would say, “Dear,
poor, Judith. Your husband is not in
Vietnam. He died nearly twenty years
ago.” Oh, how silly they will all look,
now! Please, Francis, sit and I will
brew you a cup of tea and bring you a slice of your favorite pie!
*The man pulls his hands away and
the woman goes into the kitchen and begins preparing the tea and pie*
The man: I
am going to leave, Ma’am. I told you I
will never come back! I thought this
house was empty and I would have never…I would have never if I had known.
*Judith’s eyes begin to fill with
tears and her words and movements drip with desperation*
Judith: No,
Francis! You cannot leave! I have been waiting here for years, and now
that you have finally returned I will never let you go again! Now sit down and enjoy your pie. Oh, how long I have waited to serve you this
pie, Francis!
*The man becomes angry as the
woman seems not to understand what he is telling her*
The man: Ma’am,
I’m not supposed to be here, ya know?
I’m a thief! I steal things! That’s what I was planning on doing here,
tonight! I thought this house was
abandoned! So, please, just let me leave
and for God’s sakes stop calling me Francis!
I’m not your dead husband, you pathetic, sad sack! I’m Rob!
Judith: You act like I belong in a mental ward! You think I don’t know that you aren’t my
dead husband? Do you think I am as crazy
as everybody else thinks I am? Well, I’m
not! I have been alone in this mansion
with nobody to talk to since my husband went to war, and now you are here. You are not my dead husband, because my
husband is not dead! You are alive and
well, Francis. You are the love of my
life, my soul mate, who has finally returned to free me from my misery and
loneliness. I finally feel whole again,
Francis, now that you have come back to me.
*Rob begins slowly walking to the
door*
Rob: Listen, lady.
This whole deal is really freaking me out, ya know? I’m sorry your life sucks with your husband
being dead, and all, but this isn’t really my problem. I’m going to leave now, alright? Don’t freak out and call the cops, please. Okay?
Judith, was it? You won’t call
the cops, right Judith? I will just go
back home and we will forget this ever happened, alright?
Judith: Stop it, Francis! Please, just stop it! I have waited too damn
long to let you walk out of my life again!
You are my husband and I am your wife and we have to be with each
other! That is how these things are
supposed to work, dear! You can’t leave
me again, Francis. I won’t let you!
*Judith’s eyes fill with tears,
and her whole body begins to shake with anger.
She grabs her large, beige handbag and reaches inside, pulling out a
small handgun*
Rob: Oh, come on!
You’re not going to shoot me…I mean…You’re not going to shoot your
husband, are you? What kind of wife
would kill her own husband, especially
when he has just come back after being at war for so long!?
*Judith raises the handgun and aims
at Rob*
Rob: Please, Judith! I love you, babe! How could you even think about killing me,
your long lost husband? I’ll eat the
pie! I’ll drink the tea! Just sit down, lady! I mean, dear!
I will stay here with you forever and never leave again! Just put down the damn gun, Judith, before I
call the cops and have you arrested!
*Judith gives Rob a puzzled look,
and throws the handgun onto the floor.
She begins laughing hysterically*
Judith: Call the cops!? YOU are going to call the cops on ME? You think the police will show pity for a worthless
thief? You think they will believe you,
a low class, scum of the earth criminal, over me? I am a pathetic, sad sack, Rob! Remember?
That is what you called me, isn’t it?
*Rob stares at Judith intently,
his mouth hanging open, trying to understand her words*
Rob: Wh…what?
So, wait. Are you? I mean…who do you think I am?
*Judith laughs, walks up to Rob,
and picks up his crowbar which was lying at his feet*
Judith: You deserve prison for what took place here
tonight! Me, on the other hand, well I
think I deserve an Oscar! I think you
are Rob, a name that is quite fitting for your lifestyle. You are a worthless thief. You are a wasted mind and body who will never
amount to anything. Most of all, you are
no longer welcome in my home. Now get
the hell out of here, you pathetic, sad sack!
*Judith roughly shoves the
crowbar into Rob’s chest and begins pushing him towards the door.
Rob stumbles into the closed door, and
clumsily grabs the door knob, all the while never taking his eyes off of
Judith. When he is out the door, Judith
slams it in his face. As Rob stands
outside the door, baffled, muffled laughter can be heard from Judith*
Judith: Damn, stupid kids!
Rob: Crazy, old hag!
The scene ends with both characters standing
on opposite sides of the door. Judith
has her hands on her hips and is smiling in triumph. Rob is clutching his head, breathing heavily,
wide-eyed and shocked.
(We also had to include a haiku for this assignment, so here is mine)
Haiku
Try
to rob her house
She
will teach you a lesson
Pathetic,
sad sack! Awesome!
